Sayng Goodbye to Mother

Spring 2009 CSANews Issue 70  |  Posted date : Apr 30, 2009.Back to list

Saying Goodbye to Mother

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve party. We turned on a nightlight, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.

The cat we put out in the yard scooted back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife went out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I got into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "She was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her butt downstairs and threw her out into the backyard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car.

Grandpa's Cheque

Without any paperwork, Grandpa started getting a $500 cheque every month. So Grandpa and Grandma started cashing them.

It turns out that the government made a mistake with the address; the cheques were intended for another person with the exact same name.

Grandpa then received a notice that he had to pay back $6,000. Visibly upset, he complained to his grandson, an accountant.

His grandson asked: "Grandpa, didn't you wonder why you were receiving  cheques for doing absolutely nothing?"

Grandpa answered: "I just assumed it was because the Democrats were back in power!"

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?

This is a fifth-grade math problem.
There are seven girls on a bus.
Each girl has seven backpacks.
In each backpack, there are seven big cats.
For every big cat, there are seven little cats.
The bus driver is not on the bus at this time.
Question: How many legs are there on the bus?

(Answer: 10,990)