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The Secret to a Happy Marriage
Posted date : Sep 02, 2011.
The Secret to a Happy Marriage - An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and said,  "I love you so much, I don't know how I ....   Read more...

A Hairy Tale
Posted date : Sep 02, 2011.
A Hairy Tale - Two elderly ladies were discussing the upcoming dance at the country club. "We're supposed to wear something that matches our husband's hair, ....   Read more...

Old Goats
Posted date : Sep 02, 2011.
Old Goats - A group of Canadians were travelling by tour bus through Holland.As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of makin....   Read more...

Looking Good!
Posted date : Jul 08, 2011.
Looking Good! - Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren wouldbe saying about them fifty years from now."I would like my grandchi....   Read more...

The Price of Canadian Health Care
Posted date : Jul 08, 2011.
The Price of Canadian Health Care - An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them di....   Read more...

Voice of Experience
Posted date : May 06, 2011.
Voice of Experience - Two men were golfing together one day... a very young man and his grandfather. The young man found himself with a tough shot, with a large pine tr....   Read more...

Prettier Than Freckles
Posted date : May 06, 2011.
Prettier Than Freckles - An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiti....   Read more...

The Frog Prince
Posted date : Dec 06, 2010.
The Frog Prince - A lady was lonely and decided that she needed a pet to keep her company. So off to the  pet shop she went. Forlornly, she searched. Nothing s....   Read more...

The Wife
Posted date : Dec 06, 2010.
The Wife - A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband....   Read more...

Senior Marriage
Posted date : Oct 01, 2010.
Senior Marriage - There were two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years....   Read more...

Florida Seniors
Posted date : Oct 01, 2010.
Florida Seniors - A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand-new Mercedes convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing th....   Read more...

Try to Get Some Rest
Posted date : Jul 20, 2010.
Try to Get Some Rest - A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city which he came to and park some....   Read more...

I Did All of That?!
Posted date : Jul 20, 2010.
I Did All of That?! - After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot t....   Read more...

Keep Your Mouth Shut
Posted date : May 27, 2010.
Keep Your Mouth Shut - A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says," I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."The driver says, "Gee, officer....   Read more...

How are YOU Feeling?
Posted date : May 27, 2010.
How are YOU Feeling? - Farmer Brown decided that his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company which was responsible for the accident to co....   Read more...

Don't Mess With Seniors!!!
Posted date : Dec 12, 2009.
Don't Mess With Seniors!!! - The Story of "The $2.99 Breakfast Special"We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash brow....   Read more...

Old Butch
Posted date : Dec 12, 2009.
Old Butch - John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens) called "pullets" and 10 roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept re....   Read more...

Barbershop Politics
Posted date : Sep 22, 2009.
Barbershop Politics - One day, a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accep....   Read more...

Monastery Life
Posted date : Sep 23, 2009.
Monastery Life - A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.He notices, how....   Read more...

How would you fix the economy?
Posted date : Jul 21, 2009.
How would you fix the economy? - This excerpt was published in both the St. Petersburg Times in Florida and the Desert News in Utah. The author had a rather interesting idea about how....   Read more...

PUN FUN
Posted date : Jul 21, 2009.
PUN FUN - Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.A jumper cable walks into a ba....   Read more...

Sayng Goodbye to Mother
Posted date : Apr 30, 2009.
Sayng Goodbye to Mother - Saying Goodbye to MotherWe were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve party. We turned on a nightlight, turned the answering mach....   Read more...

There will be no nursing home in my future.
Posted date : Dec 23, 2008.
There will be no nursing home in my future. - When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship.The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day.  I have checked on re....   Read more...

Senior Dating
Posted date : Dec 23, 2008.
Senior Dating - Dorothy and Edna, two 'older' widows, are talking. Dorothy: 'That nice George Johns on asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him ....   Read more...

The Bathtub Test
Posted date : Sep 19, 2008.
The Bathtub Test - It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself sometimes. This should help you get started...During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked t....   Read more...

Have fun everyday!
Posted date : Sep 19, 2008.
Have fun everyday! - Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and went int....   Read more...

Average Canadian
Posted date : Sep 19, 2008.
Average Canadian - A recent study found that the average Canadian walks about 900 miles a year.Another study found that Canadians drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a....   Read more...

Newfie Campers
Posted date : Jul 22, 2008.
Newfie Campers - Two Newfoundlanders went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down in their tent for the night and went to sleep.So....   Read more...

Perspectives On Golf
Posted date : Jul 22, 2008.
Perspectives On Golf - Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.Golf! You hit dow....   Read more...

Who Am I?
Posted date : May 24, 2008.
Who Am I? - Your best friend or greatest enemy, I am your greatest companion. I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden. I will push you onwards or drag y....   Read more...

The Card
Posted date : May 24, 2008.
The Card - A very cocky Oklahoma Department of Highways employee stopped at a farm to talk to an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for....   Read more...

An Australian definition of a Canadian
Posted date : May 22, 2008.
An Australian definition of a Canadian - You probably missed it in the local news, but there was a report that someone in Pakistan had advertised in a newspaper the offer of a reward to anyon....   Read more...

George Carlin on AGE
Posted date : May 22, 2008.
George Carlin on AGE - Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about a....   Read more...

Why, why, why….?
Posted date : May 22, 2008.
Why, why, why….? - Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know that there is not enough?Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?If people evolved from ....   Read more...

Hearing Troubles
Posted date : Oct 17, 2007.
Hearing Troubles - A man feared that his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to, and thought that she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, h....   Read more...

How to Call the Police When You're Old
Posted date : Oct 17, 2007.
How to Call the Police When You're Old - George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could se....   Read more...

Celibacy
Posted date : Aug 07, 2007.
Celibacy - Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.While attending a marriage encounter weekend, Walter and his wife Ann listen....   Read more...

Swept Away…
Posted date : Aug 07, 2007.
Swept Away… - Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while, they got to know each other so well that they decided to get married.One broom was, of course....   Read more...

Disorder in the Courts
Posted date : Aug 07, 2007.
Disorder in the Courts - From a book called “Disorder in the American Courts,” which includes stories of things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down an....   Read more...

A Senior Moment
Posted date : Jun 06, 2007.
A Senior Moment - A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why i....   Read more...

Moral: Old men can still think fast!
Posted date : Jun 06, 2007.
Moral: Old men can still think fast! - The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The....   Read more...

The Three Bears – The Real Story
Posted date : Jun 06, 2007.
The Three Bears – The Real Story - A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning...Baby Bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table, and he looks into....   Read more...

The Bathtub Test
Posted date : Jun 01, 2007.
The Bathtub Test - It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself sometimes...this should help you get started... During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked ....   Read more...

The Dead Horse Theory
Posted date : Jun 01, 2007.
The Dead Horse Theory - The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says, “When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the bes....   Read more...

Canadian Health Care
Posted date : May 30, 2007.
Canadian Health Care - Two patients limp into two different Canadian medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replaceme....   Read more...

Beer, Fishing, Sex & Golf
Posted date : May 30, 2007.
Beer, Fishing, Sex & Golf - Beer, Fishing, Sex & Golf A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked hi....   Read more...

Perspective
Posted date : May 28, 2007.
Perspective - One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. Th....   Read more...

The Apron
Posted date : May 28, 2007.
The Apron - I don't think our kids know what an apron is. The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath but, along with that, it ser....   Read more...

Room 302
Posted date : May 27, 2007.
Room 302 - Anyone who has ever been in a hospital or had a loved one in the hospital will enjoy this: A woman called a local hospital. “Hello. Could you con....   Read more...

Mechanics
Posted date : May 27, 2007.
Mechanics - A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon w....   Read more...

Headlines from the year 2029!
Posted date : May 25, 2007.
Headlines from the year 2029! - Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh-largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. BABY CON....   Read more...

The way children see things
Posted date : May 25, 2007.
The way children see things - Honesty My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it i....   Read more...

Amish Elevator
Posted date : May 23, 2007.
Amish Elevator - An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could....   Read more...

A Wonderful Exercise for Mature People
Posted date : May 23, 2007.
A Wonderful Exercise for Mature People - We came across this exercise suggested for older adults, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so we thought we would ....   Read more...

The Perfect Husband
Posted date : May 20, 2007.
The Perfect Husband - Several men are in the locker room of a golf club... A cell phone on a bench rings, and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to....   Read more...

The Wise Old Poodle
Posted date : May 20, 2007.
The Wise Old Poodle - A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle, Duchess, along for the company. One day Duchess starts ....   Read more...

Never Underestimate the Wisdom of your Elders
Posted date : May 17, 2007.
Never Underestimate the Wisdom of your Elders - A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster to copulate with his chickens. The farmer puts the rooster straight in the pen so he can g....   Read more...

Personals...
Posted date : May 17, 2007.
Personals... - This ad actually ran in The Atlanta Journal newspaper: SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, race unimportant. I'm a very good-looking girl....   Read more...

Some comments heard in the year 1957
Posted date : May 17, 2007.
Some comments heard in the year 1957 - "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20.00." "Have you seen t....   Read more...

Golf Nut
Posted date : May 16, 2007.
Golf Nut - In my hand I hold a ball...white and dimpled, rather small... Oh, how bland it does appear...this harmless looking little sphere... By its size ....   Read more...

The Check-up
Posted date : May 16, 2007.
The Check-up - I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little c....   Read more...

Things that make me wonder aloud...
Posted date : May 16, 2007.
Things that make me wonder aloud... - 1. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door? 2. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ....   Read more...

Weird Town Names and Their Origins
Posted date : May 15, 2007.
Weird Town Names and Their Origins - Hot Coffee, Mississippi Travellers heading for Mobile or Ellisville in the early 1880's would stop by a local inn that was owned by Levi Davis, who a....   Read more...

Points to Ponder...
Posted date : May 15, 2007.
Points to Ponder... - Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? If a ....   Read more...

Fright Flight
Posted date : May 15, 2007.
Fright Flight - Passengers on a commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilot uniforms. Both ....   Read more...

Inner Strength
Posted date : May 10, 2007.
Inner Strength - If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills, If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and bori....   Read more...

Gender Signs
Posted date : May 10, 2007.
Gender Signs - Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants’ restrooms doors (B....   Read more...

Illegal Mad Cows?
Posted date : May 10, 2007.
Illegal Mad Cows? - Is it just me or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where....   Read more...

Death & Taxes
Posted date : May 05, 2007.
Death & Taxes - Tax his land, tax his wage, Tax his bed in which he lays. Tax his tractor, tax his mule, Teach him taxes is the rule. Tax his cow, tax his goat, ....   Read more...

A Man, a Boy and a Donkey
Posted date : May 05, 2007.
A Man, a Boy and a Donkey - An old man, a boy and a donkey were heading to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along, they passed some people wh....   Read more...

Yet Another Innovative Snowbird
Posted date : May 02, 2007.
Yet Another Innovative Snowbird - A man in Newfoundland calls his son in Calgary two days before Christmas and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother a....   Read more...

A Frequent Flyer Tale...
Posted date : May 02, 2007.
A Frequent Flyer Tale... - A guy sitting at an airport bar in Atlanta noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a....   Read more...

The Path of Time...
Posted date : Apr 25, 2007.
The Path of Time... - Does the statement, "We've always done it that way" ring any bells? The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inch....   Read more...

A Happy Marriage
Posted date : Apr 25, 2007.
A Happy Marriage - There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They kept no....   Read more...

The Trials of Noah
Posted date : Apr 20, 2007.
The Trials of Noah - The Lord came to Noah in Canada in the year 2003. Earth was wicked and over populated. The Lord instructed Noah to rebuild the Ark and save two of eve....   Read more...

Never Underestimate the Intelligence of Women
Posted date : Apr 15, 2007.
Never Underestimate the Intelligence of Women - There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved every penny and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved his money more than any....   Read more...

Millitary Support
Posted date : Apr 15, 2007.
Millitary Support - The Canadian Government has decided to assist the USA in the war against terrorism: They have agreed to send: 2 of their largest battleships 6,00....   Read more...

Signs Seen Around the World
Posted date : Apr 15, 2007.
Signs Seen Around the World - At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CAN....   Read more...

Senior Firefighters
Posted date : Apr 12, 2007.
Senior Firefighters - One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and before you could snap your fingers, it exploded into flames an....   Read more...

Post-Op Blues
Posted date : Apr 12, 2007.
Post-Op Blues - A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had b....   Read more...

Animal Crackers
Posted date : Apr 09, 2007.
Animal Crackers - Bird Talk?Frank's parrot swore like a sailor, he could swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Unfortunately, Frank was a quiet, co....   Read more...

Another Busy Day!
Posted date : Apr 06, 2007.
Another Busy Day! - ANOTHER BUSY DAY!I decide to wash the car. I start toward the garage and notice the mail on the table.OK, I'm going to wash the car. But first I'm goi....   Read more...

The Car-Jacking
Posted date : Apr 06, 2007.
The Car-Jacking - An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shop....   Read more...

On the Road
Posted date : Apr 05, 2007.
On the Road - I left Florida heading toward the Canadian border, when I decided to stop at a comfort station. The first stall was occupied, so I went to the second ....   Read more...

Doctor's Office
Posted date : Apr 05, 2007.
Doctor's Office - A doctor met a patient in the hall. Wanting to know if the patient was on his way to therapy, the doctor asked, "Are you coming or going?"The patient ....   Read more...

Vacation Planning
Posted date : Apr 05, 2007.
Vacation Planning - A couple was relating their vacation experience to a friend."It sounds as if you had a great time in Florida," the friend observed."But didn't you tel....   Read more...

Love is...?
Posted date : Apr 05, 2007.
Love is...? - From the mouths of babes...A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they ....   Read more...

Believe It or Not
Posted date : Apr 03, 2007.
Believe It or Not - The following transcript was found on the Internet of an alleged conversation between a US naval ship and the Canadian authorities off Newfoundland in....   Read more...

Just a Thought...Or Six
Posted date : Apr 03, 2007.
Just a Thought...Or Six - A truly happy snowbird is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.Birth....   Read more...

A Brief Histroy in Medicine
Posted date : Apr 03, 2007.
A Brief Histroy in Medicine - The practice of medicine has dramatically evolved over the years. These are the treatments for a common earache that have been recommended by "practit....   Read more...

The Two Dollar Tryst
Posted date : Apr 03, 2007.
The Two Dollar Tryst - An older couple dropped into a doctor's office and asked him if he could watch then make love. The doctor was somewhat puzzled but agreed to watch. Af....   Read more...

NASA Oop!
Posted date : Apr 01, 2007.
NASA Oop! - When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To overcome this obstacle, ....   Read more...

Puzzled Parrot
Posted date : Apr 01, 2007.
Puzzled Parrot - A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience was different each week, so this allowed the magician to do the same tricks over and....   Read more...

Judgement Day
Posted date : Apr 01, 2007.
Judgement Day - A father, a lawyer and an HMO (Health Maintenance Organization) President all died and went to the pearly gates to receive their judgment."So," Saint ....   Read more...

Fast Gas
Posted date : Mar 09, 2007.
Fast Gas - Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighbourhood. They parked their ....   Read more...

Delivery Service
Posted date : Mar 09, 2007.
Delivery Service - One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. Greeting him the Lord says, "You've lived a good life. If there is any way I can make your s....   Read more...

Jokes
Posted date : Mar 08, 2007.
Jokes - What is the longest word in the dictionary?Smiles, there is a mile between the first and last letter.What word has the most letters?Post office or mai....   Read more...

I am a Senior Citizen
Posted date : Mar 08, 2007.
I am a Senior Citizen - I am the life of the party, even when it lasts until 8:00 p.m. I am very good at opening child-proof caps with a hammer.I am usually interested in goi....   Read more...

This Was Sent to Me By...Oh, What's Her Name...
Posted date : Mar 08, 2007.
This Was Sent to Me By...Oh, What's Her Name... - Two ladies were sitting on a park bench in Miami enjoying the sunshine. They had been good friends for many years and both always looked forward to th....   Read more...

The Cost of Health Care...
Posted date : Mar 07, 2007.
The Cost of Health Care... - A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor ....   Read more...

Grins and Giggles Issue 36
Posted date : Mar 06, 2007.
Grins and Giggles Issue 36 - Here are a couple of gems that were e-mailed to us. If you see anything funny coming across your computer screen, be sure to send it (if at all possib....   Read more...

10 Words That Ought to Be in the Dictionary
Posted date : Mar 05, 2007.
10 Words That Ought to Be in the Dictionary - AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun....   Read more...

And from the Mouths of Babes...
Posted date : Mar 05, 2007.
And from the Mouths of Babes... - "Never trust a dog to watch your food." Patrick, age 10"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer." Hannah, age 9"Stay away ....   Read more...

Groaners
Posted date : Mar 04, 2007.
Groaners - Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all league records were unfortunately destroyed in an alpine land....   Read more...

Then and Now
Posted date : Mar 03, 2007.
Then and Now - Then: Long hairNow: Longing for hairThen: A kegNow: An EKGThen: Moving to California because it's coolNow: Moving to California because it's hotThen: ....   Read more...

Real T-Shirts
Posted date : Mar 03, 2007.
Real T-Shirts - If you see some memorable T-shirts on your journeys, send us the slogans and we'll print them.At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All......   Read more...

Hollywood Squares
Posted date : Mar 01, 2007.
Hollywood Squares - Hollywood Squares The following appeared on the Medipac cafeteria bulletin board ­ we're not quite sure where the list originated! Peter Marshal....   Read more...