CSA News - Issue 35

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fect') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow "remove" all the germs.

ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people manoeuvring for one armrest in a theater.

FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dustpan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak'to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal" side.

PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

PHONESIA (fo nee'zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.



Grins & Giggles		Here are a couple of gems that were e-mailed to us. If you see anything funny coming across your computer screen, be sure to send it (if at all possible with the author's name) to CSAwriteus@aol.com.

	10 Words That Ought to Be in the Dictionary AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. DISCONFECT (dis kon fect') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow "remove" all the germs. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people manoeuvring for one armrest in a theater. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dustpan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug. LACTOMANGULATION (lak'to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal" side. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper. PHONESIA (fo nee'zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

	And from the Mouths of Babes... "Never trust a dog to watch your food." Patrick, age 10 "When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer." Hannah, age 9 "Stay away from prunes." Randy, age 9 "Never pee on an electric fence." Robert, age 13 "Don't squat with your spurs on." Noronha, age 13 "Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to." Emily, age 10 "When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair." Taylia, age 11 "Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time." Kyoyo, age 9 "You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk." Armir, age 9 "Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts." Kellie, age 11 "Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick." Lauren, age 9 "When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone." Alyesha, age 13 "Never try to baptize a cat." Eileen, age 8 Table of Contents Issue 35 / Next Issue Story

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