BELIEVE IT OR NOT
The following transcript was found on the Internet of an alleged conversation between a US naval ship and the Canadian authorities off Newfoundland in 1995.
US Ship:
Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision
Canadian reply:
Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision
US Ship:
This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
Canadian reply:
No, I say again, divert your course
US Ship:
This is the aircraft carrier "USS (deleted to protect the guilty)". We are a large warship of the US Navy. Divert your course now!
Canadian reply:
This is a lighthouse. Your call.
As submitted to SITREP, the Newsmagazine of the Royal Canadian Military Institute, by Richard S. Kwieciak, Brig Gen, NYG (ret)
JUST A THOUGHT...OR SIX!
A truly happy snowbird is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
Birthdays are good for you, the more you have the longer you live.
Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.
Don't be sad because something is over, smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons. They come in many different colours and some have weird names. Some are sharp, some are dull and some are pretty, but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
Submitted by Ellen White, CSA's Secretary and President-Elect.
A BRIEF HISTORY OF MEDICINE
The practice of medicine has dramatically evolved over the years. These are the treatments for a common earache that have been recommended by "practitioners" at various times in our past.
2000BC Here, eat this root.
1000AD That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850AD That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940AD That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985AD That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2001AD That antibiotic is artificial, here, eat this root.
Found on the Jokes.com website, produced by Comedy Lab Productions, Inc.
THE TWO DOLLAR TRYST
An older couple dropped into a doctor's office and asked him if he could watch then make love. The doctor was somewhat puzzled but agreed to watch. After the couple had finished the doctor said, "I can't see anything wrong with the way you make love," and then handed them a bill for $10.00.
The couple returned to the doctor's office once a week for several weeks with the same result "Everything is fine!"
Finally the puzzled doctor asked, "I've watched you make love for several weeks, now, what do you think may be wrong?"
The man, who was obviously embarrassed, answered, "Well, actually nothing is wrong. But I'm married, so we can't go to my house; my lover is married, so we can't go to her house. The Holiday Inn charges $25.00, Days Inn charges $23.00 and making love in your office is only $10.00.
"Oh, and Medicare refunds me $8.00 for every visit!"