ANOTHER BUSY DAY!

I decide to wash the car. I start toward the garage and notice the mail on the table.

OK, I'm going to wash the car. But first I'm going to go through the mail.

I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail and I notice the trash can is full.

OK, I'll just put the bills on my desk and take the trash can out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox anyway...

Now, where is my cheque book?

Oops, there's only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk.

Oh, there's the Coke I was drinking.

I'm going to look for those cheques.

But first I need to put my coke further away from the computer.

Oh, maybe I'll pop it into the fridge to keep it cold for a while.

I head towards the kitchen and my flowers catch my eye because they need some water.

I set the coke on the counter and uh oh! There are my glasses.

I was looking for them all morning!

I'd better put them away first.

I fill a container with water and head for the flowerpots ­ Aaaaaagh!

Someone left the TV remote in the kitchen.

We'll never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to watch television, so I'd better put it back in the family room where it belongs.

I splash some water into the pots and onto the floor.

I throw the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa and I head back down the hall trying to figure out what it was I was going to do?

AT THE END OF THE DAY: The car isn't washed, the bills are unpaid, the coke is sitting on the kitchen counter, the flowers are half-watered, the cheque book still only has one cheque in it and I can't seem to find my car keys! When I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!!!

THE NEXT MORNING: I realize I have to finish what I did not finish yesterday; BUT FIRST I think I'll check my e-mail.

Submitted by Beth Slinger

THE CAR-JACKING

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, you scum bags!"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation, but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried and then it dawned on her why.

A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car-jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.