The Ontario Snowbird Lifestyle Presentations have come and gone for another year. The quality of sponsors and entertainment just continues to amaze me. These shows were held in Nepean, Kitchener, Markham, Mississauga and Hamilton.

I attended the Kitchener show without Beth because she is still recovering from torn ligaments in her knee. When I told her how great it had been, she insisted on taking in the Hamilton show. As Beth said, it was well worth the effort even for a recovering invalid.

Every show brought the audience to a standing ovation. Our new show boss and master of ceremonies, Christopher Bradbury, did a masterful job and earned his place on stage with the best entertainers to appear before a Canadian audience. Congratulations to all who were responsible.

The following information arrived across my desk from an author known as "Anonymous," a very prolific writer on a very wide range of subjects. I thought that you youngsters might enjoy checking the list to see if you fit any of them yet.

How To Know If You Are Growing Older

• Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
• The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
• You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.
• Your children begin to look middle-aged.
• You finally reach the top of the ladder, and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
• You join the health club and don't go.
• You begin to outlive your enthusiasm.
• You decide to procrastinate but never get around to it.
• Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
• A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
• You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
• You look forward to a dull evening.
• You walk with your head high trying to get used to your bifocals.
• Your favourite part of the newspaper is "25 years ago today."
• You turn out the lights for economic reasons rather than romantic reasons.
• You sit in a rocking chair and can't make it go.
• Your knees buckle but not your belt.
• You stop looking forward to your next birthday.
• After painting the town red you take a long rest before applying the second coat.
• You were startled the first time someone addressed you as "old timer."
• You remember today, that yesterday was your wedding anniversary.
• You burn the midnight oil after 9 p.m.
• Your back goes out more than you do.
• The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.
• You have too much room in your house and not enough in your medicine cabinet.
• You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

To wind up, I leave you with the following:

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning a tuxedo, she warned "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit!" "And why not, darling?"

"You know it always gives you a headache in the morning!"

God Bless!