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53
CSANews
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SPRING 2014
Grins
& giggles
Parking Lot
Paul, late for an important meeting, was searching
desperately for a parking spot in a parking lot.
Looking up to the heavens, he entreated “God, if
you find me a parking spot, I promise to start going
to church again.”
The words were barely out of his mouth when a spot
opened up right in front of his car. Paul looked back
up, “Never mind I found one.”
Paraprosdokians
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech
in which the latter part of a sentence
or phrase is surprising or unexpected;
frequently humorous. Winston Churchill
loved them.
1. The last thing I want to do is hurt
you. But it’s still on my list.
2. Since light travels faster than sound,
some people appear bright until
you hear them speak.
3. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
4. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in
public.
5. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from
many is research.
6. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
7. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk
down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still
think they are sexy.
8. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
9. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
10. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder
and harder for me to find one now.