I am a Senior Citizen

Spring 2001 CSANews Issue 38  |  Posted date : Mar 08, 2007.Back to list

I am the life of the party, even when it lasts until 8:00 p.m.

I am very good at opening child-proof caps with a hammer.

I am usually interested in going home before I get where I'm going.

I am good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, Beano and antacid.

I am the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I am awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I am smiling all of the time, because I can't hear a darned word you're saying.

I am very good at telling stories ­ over and over and over.

I am not grouchy ­ I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds and politicians.

I'm sure that everything I can't find, is in a secure place somewhere.

I am wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just in my left leg!

I walk more (to the bathroom), and enjoy it less.

I am going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors ­ absolutely nothing!

I am sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I wonder, if you are only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 160?

I support all movements now, by eating bran, prunes and raisins.

I am a walking storeroom of facts....I just lost the storeroom.

I am a senior citizen and I am having the time of my life!