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& giggles
Live a Little!
I recently picked a new primary-care physician. After two visits and
exhaustive lab tests, he said that I was doing “fairly well” for my age. A
little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do
you think I’ll live to be 100?”
He asked, “Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?”
“Oh no,” I replied. “I’m not doing drugs, either.” Then he asked, “Do you
eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?”
I said, “No, my other doctor said that all
red meat is very unhealthy.”
“Do you spend a lot of time in the
sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking or
“No, I don’t ,” I said.
He asked, “Do you gamble, drive fast cars or
chase women?”
“No,” I said, “I don’t do any of those things.”
He looked at me and said, “Then why do
you care?”
Borderline Insanity
An elderly woman lived on a small farm
in Canada, just yards away from the
North Dakota border. Their land had
been the subject of a minor dispute
between the United States and Canada
for years. The now-widowed woman
lived on the farm with her son and three
One day, her son came into her room
holding a letter. “I just got some news,
Mom,” he said. “The government has
come to an agreement with the people
in North Dakota. They’ve decided that
our land is really part of the United
States. We have the right to approve or
disapprove of the agreement. What do
you think?”
“What do I think?” his mother said. “Sign
it! Call them right now and tell them
we accept! I don’t think I could stand
another one of those Canadian winters!”