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FALL 2012
& giggles
No Dogs Allowed
A guy wanted to take
his chihuahua into a
restaurant with him, so
he put on dark glasses
and “tapped” his way into
the establishment.
The waiter said “Hey! You
can’t bring a dog in here.”
The man indignantly
claimed “I’m blind! ...this
is my Seeing Eye dog!”
“You’re trying to tell me”
said the waiter, “that this
chihuahua is a Seeing Eye
“What!?!” cried the
man, “they gave me a
Beware of Dog!
Upon entering the little country store, the
stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER!
BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass
Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound
dog asleep on the floor beside the cash
He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the
dog folks are supposed to beware of?”
“Yep, that’s him,” he replied.
The stranger couldn’t help but be amused.
“That certainly doesn’t look like a
dangerous dog to me. Why in the world
would you post that sign?”
“Because,” the owner replied, “before I
posted that sign, people kept tripping
over him.”
The Talking Dog
A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog.
“This is a talking dog,” he said. “And you can have
him for five dollars.”
The neighbour said, “Who do you think you’re
kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain’t no
such animal.”
Suddenly, the dog looked up with tears in his
“Please buy me, sir,” he pleaded. “This man is
cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes
me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be
the richest trick dog in America. I performed
before kings. I was in the army and was
decorated 10 times.”
“Hey!” said the neighbour. “He can talk. Why do
you want to sell him for just five dollars?”
“Because,” said the seller, “I’m getting tired of all
his lies.”