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Grins & Giggles

A woman is pulled over and the

officer asks her for her licence.

He looks at it and says, “Ma’am,

your licence says that you

should be wearing glasses?”

The woman replies, “I have

contacts, sir.”

The officer gets mad and yells,

“I don’t care who you know,

you’re getting a ticket!”

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a

gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.

“Why?” asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage,

as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a

badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

“Well, I’m a panda,” he says. “Look it up.”

The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough,

finds an explanation:


Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China.

Eats, shoots and leaves.”

A vulture is boarding a

plane carrying a couple of

dead raccoons. But before he is able

to get on, the attendant tells him,

“I’m sorry sir, you’re only allowed

one carrion.”

I’m a Panda!

Pull Over

Carry On




FALL 2015